La Petite Mort

La Petite Mort has matured beside me for over a decade. The composition is inspired by a compilation of three self-portraits I took at the start of 2015 — the year that broke me.

The photographs were originally taken for someone I loved. They were beautiful and meant to be cherished, not consumed. I saved them because I knew they deserved more, and that one day I would be able to elevate them.

My first attempt came in 2016. I painted a small piece based on one of the images. It felt off, even ugly. I donated it to a bad art collection in 2019.

After that, I let the idea rest. I did not force it. I trusted the vision would come when the time was right.

As I arrived at this place, the phrase “my body is a temple” kept turning over in my mind. I heard the phrase often growing up. But the words fell flat. They did not belong in my reality, they were too contradictory to what I was experiencing.

It has been a winding road, discovering what my body means to me. I experience it as a vessel — one that holds memory, pain, pleasure, and power. It has created and nourished life. It has been the first home of my children.

This is me reclaiming what was once treated as an object — monumentalizing the past and celebrating not only the beauty and magnificence of my own body, but of all women's bodies: living vessels that create, transform and inspire love.